It's time to grow...

The Single Life

I ran across this article by Gabby Farah the other day and a lot of it really hit home for me. But it’s sort of (definitely) directed towards females. So I decided to write my own version.

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I’m single. I have been for over two years now. I used to think things like “well, it’s not by my choice!”. But that thinking is not healthy and I’ve changed my attitude. Here’s why.

The single life is great! Don’t get me wrong, relationships are awesome and I think we were all made to be in them, but what about when you’re single? Is singleness just some dull waiting room in life hoping your number will be called next and that your soulmate is right around the corner? I say no.

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Let me tell you my story…

I would often find myself lying in bed depressed and lonely because I didn’t have a special someone to talk to or hang out with. See here’s the thing…I’ve looked forward to marriage since I was 3. I proposed to my first crush as a toddler and have been crushing ever since. I never went through that weird “girls are gross” phase as a boy. So you can imagine my surprise when I’ve just turned 26 and I’m still single. And not even close to a serious relationship. Sure, I’ve dated a few girls through the years and had a couple of serious relationships, but inevitably something always happened. It all came down to this: they were all amazing but they weren’t the right one. So after my last relationship it was back to square one.

I’ve been set up on blind dates, created online profiles, and even once left my number on a cute waitress’s ticket. But these weren’t me. Something wasn’t right. But it wasn’t until recently that I was convicted of a reason it wasn’t working. And that reason was…

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I need to be single.

At least for a while. Everyone has flaws, especially me, and I realized that I had been blessed by a chance to get my life to a place where I was ready for an amazing marriage to an amazing woman. This was a chance to laser focus on improving my life like never before. Many people are in amazing relationships and that’s awesome but one of the downsides is you now are caring for someone else (this is not really a bad thing…but you know what I mean). This takes time and energy away from getting your life in order. SO, if you are single, and it’s distracting you from life, take a second to really think about the opportunity you have. Here’s some things to think about:

  • Are you out of debt and financially secure?
  • Have you identified and dealt with all of your emotional baggage from your past?
  • Are you the kind of person you would want to date?
  • Do you know who you are, what your purpose is, and where you’re going in life?
  • Are you taking care of your body, mind, and soul in ways that build not only you up, but everyone around you as well?
  • Do you have any bad habits you need to get rid of (or good habits to start)?
  • Is your life consistent and organized, or are you living day-to-day on a roller coaster ride of emotions and stress?

Think about these things and imagine a relationship after these areas are fixed. Imagine how healthy and amazing that relationship would be, especially if the other person was like this too! Imagine what you could accomplish in your marriage, your future family, or even the world!!! Life would undoubtedly be pretty amazing. You may have to get your hands a little messy but I encourage you to do the dirty work of fixing up your life.

So I’m choosing to be single. I owe it to myself, my future wife, my future family, and pretty much everybody to be the best I can be. Let’s face it though, single life can still be pretty hard sometimes. Loneliness will set in at some point and you’ll want to “fall” for the next person that shows you attention. I’ve been there plenty of times, and I’m sure I will again. But next time that happens, be aware of it and stop. Remind yourself of why you’re choosing to be single. Remind yourself of what it’s going to be like when you get your life in order. Remind yourself that there’s always people that love and care for you and that one day, when it’s time, that special person will come along. When you both are ready, it’s going to be amazing.*

*I realize that this isn’t what it’s like for every guy out there but I encourage you to still take a hard look at your life and see if you’re where you want to be. If not, now’s the time to fix it.

Also, read 7 Must Do’s While You’re Single by Dale Partridge and enjoy the single life while you have it!

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19 Comments

  1. KJ KJ
    February 4, 2016    

    This article was very good. It was a big encouragement and I think you are right about being the best you can be for someone else. I have dated different guys as well and done the dating website stuff etc. Never have found anyone that doesn’t have some sort of issue that is detrimental to the relationship. So to add to the article I would like to say to anyone that reads this. Be open about anything and everything, When hidden secrets surface that the person didn’t initially tell the other it can be a deal breaker. It may be something like being in debt but the fact that the person isn’t initially honest that is a turn off. Thank you for your article and I hope one day you find the right girl! :)

    • February 5, 2016    

      Thank you KJ! I agree that being open and honest up front is very important. We all have flaws and the sooner everyone understand that, the better. I hope you find someone too!

  2. Keith Keith
    February 9, 2016    

    Wow great points. So relatable too

  3. KYK KYK
    February 18, 2016    

    Take your time and enjoy each day. Don’t put pressure on yourself. Too often, societal sentiment sends many on a race to the alter before a certain age, especially females. Live your life to the fullest. I believe that on your way to self-actualization, true love and marriage, if you desire it will happen organically.

  4. July 25, 2016    

    – exactly – even 8 minutes is better than nothing. By starting off with 30 mins, people will soon stop exercising altogether. If the 8 mins makes them feel good, they WILL put in more time in the end. So, just start off slowly, and start off with just a couple of mintes, instead of exngaeratigg.

    • October 21, 2016    

      Ooh mio dio… non posso credere che abbiano fatto una cosa del genere addirittura in una missione spQu.ale..iazessto se non altro dimostra una volta di più che studiosi, scienziati e tecnnici non sono sempre persone serie e austere, ma sanno anche scherzare da veri creativi. Immagino sia stato davvero esilarante (passato il primo momento di stupore) trovarsi le donnine nude in mezzo alle serissime del programma di missione lunare…

    • November 4, 2016    

      I’ve been looking for a post like this for an age

    • November 16, 2016    

      on April 22, 2006 Ik vind het alleen lastig dat als iemand met me flirt, en ik kom zo iemand vaker tegen, ik me ongemakkelijk ga voelen en ontwijkend gedrag ga vertonen. Behalve als ik iemand écht leuk vind. Dan ben ik er niet weg te slaan. : )

    • March 17, 2017    

      Twitter: Memang benda begini bisanya bermusim tapi takut juga ada yang tak tetap teguh dengan pendirian, benda begini ok. Nanti bila dah lama, menyesal. Naziman kongsi …

  5. September 10, 2016    

    Kalau letak nama ANWAR salah…Letak nama Najib tak betul juga…Apa kata kita letak nama BAPA KO?Baru betul…HahahahahahahahahaAda bantahan?

    • October 22, 2016    

      This is a most useful cobittnurion to the debate

    • What a weird letter.. Like: “you very obviously won, but we won’t be giving you the award”.Viktor – should we not share with TASSO what we think of this?xxx

    • November 15, 2016    

      Full of salient points. Don’t stop believing or writing!

    • March 7, 2017    

      Fiona KnausDa bin ich ja mal gespannt, wie der Duft von Victorinox riecht! Habe eine Duftprobe für mich selbst bestellt… Eine Schweizerin sollte ja schliesslich auch mal ein schweizer Parfüm tragen .

    • Ed and family, Marilyn was so very special. I know she is at peace now and will be directing things in heaven . She was my spirital mentor and I will miss her so much. Faith will take the hurt away

  6. November 4, 2016    

    I’ve been watching that Food Network Challenge too. I wish I could bake and decorate cakes like that. Your cupcakes are so cute!!I like to watch Triple D, Good Eats, Iron Chef, anything with Giada. Unfortunately I don’t get to watch my favorite shows that often.

  7. November 14, 2016    

    making this tonight, getting the ingredients in a few hours. should i use the SWEET soy sauce we have at home, or buy some normal soy sauce? we have premium soy sauce at home but BAM that stuff is strong :/ can't wait, my Kids will love it :)

  8. February 22, 2017    

    It’s important to have good content to share. Your article is very good and carries a lot of weight with sound points and interesting content. I concur with this content. Thank you for sharing this.VA:F [1.6.5_908]please wait…VA:F [1.6.5_908](from 0 votes)

  9. Yawn, it’s yet another pathetic propaganda piece about demographics by poor old Yoram Ettinger. I can’t ever read one of them without humming along to the tune to Monty Python’s Every Sperm is Sacred.

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